“Utopia is an idea and not a reality, ours is a life and not a fairy tale”
If only they would suffice as reason enough as to why peace is too simple and pure an idea for a beast such as man.
Hitherto I was certain that a soldier in the front lines is positively the most dangerous occupation given the knowledge that it can only ever end in one of two horrible ways either you die from the atrocities committed by your opponent or to live on ,a tortured psychological casualty of the very same atrocities committed and witnessed. The latter of course can be by far more devastated by life threatening wounds and the inevitable diminished quality of life that follows suit. As a pacifist in my own right (that degree will most definitely downgrade after this piece of writing)i love peace and find war an expensive exercise of barbarity that should no longer be tolerated anywhere and it is that ,which made this discovery an even heavier truth aspirin than I would have imagined.
I imagined that once you have escaped from the clutches of war and ‘hero /victor mentality’ and you avoid jobs such as violent radical, army man, militia, terrorist et cetera. You would be free to live a free and peaceful life. But to be a Victor(ine) is not at all a mentality or complex ,it is literally a piece of the fabric of human nature.
When I uncovered the sheer risks an oil rig worker faces I was stunned at the insanity in the number of ways (s)he could succumb to even after the rather ingenious ways engineers and physicists alike have hammered away at many of the potential life threatening risks .I mean, if the instant decompression of heavy gases in your body after a dive doesn’t get you fire could be it, drowning ,construction accidents, sabotage, machine malfunction, bad weather not to forget the fact that you’re possibly miles away from that precious terra firma with all those hospitals and doctors. The more I thought about most jobs are equally if not more perilous in a shockingly obvious way, question is why is it rational to work this job when you could easily see the impending death (horrible deaths at times)?
Truth is as humans we need our battles, to have and to hold them, to bleed for them and to kill for them. It’s a primordial part so deep into our psyche even we can’t reach it and convert it. The very reasons why tortured artists need their demons for their art, why we need our struggles for achievement, the thrill of the chase some call it. And we all take part in it every day, leaving your bed despite the thousands of perfectly reasonable ways that you can die. Drinking yourself silly, writing unnecessary inappropriate sometimes vile and controversial articles, drag racing illegally past the train stations, smoking against your better judgment, enlisting to literally kill innocents. All are possible answers to our very real chemical equations precipitating every second in our very normal and (not) psychopathic brains.
Once upon a time real problems existed and sometimes still do (for the lucky chosen few) but for those of us living a sheltered charmed existence. Without a fight to fight, trapped in the mundane existence of work to home to exams to work to home and the horrible dejavu of the next day. No swords, guns ,world wars to flavor our lives. The thing with humans and is that we are not rats and no rat trap is impermeable so we create our battles, a dutiful husband cheating on his wife, a ’good kid’ taking drugs ,a religious group turning radical and cultish.
In fact absolute peace and harmony is as unnatural as fairy tales ,a threat to our nature ,an inescapable part of us. Embrace the fight and be free is what I would love to say but the nature of the utterance is no better than Hitler’s Mein Kampf or some other purge chant of sorts. As I said my religion is that of love and peace so no I do not understand this part of the story I am telling here.
May be if the battles were bloodless it would all be fine but it isn’t ever the case. I’d like to go ahead and discover this part of me as well but if I go ahead how far is too far? And even if I saw that menacing red line that I shouldn’t cross wouldn’t I still cross it anyway, after all that is the entire concept of bloodlust, isn’t it?


be sure to purge (thoughts,ideas,complaints) if at all you feel the nudge

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