killer lethargy

Just my second day at community service and the best i can come up with is that those sisters of missionaries must be angels.right?
How else do you explain how someone can work tirelessly for more than 10 hours a day at no benefit to themself and keep up the cheery attitude of a Hollywood actor on set.Still waiting on the glow that comes after service i have all the other prerequisites of cuts,scrapes,blisters and callouses.My sloth will be the death of me,it always kills a piece of the good parts of self when you realize that you are definitely not as good as you thought you were.Forget good at this point i am not even a decent person.
The interesting thing about lethargy of this magnitude is its ability to release the bile from within.Suddenly you are the world’s biggest perfectionist critic,nothing pleases you and nothing can be done to fix it.
Add the stress of wondering whether or not i got into the IFOA since sending my application without so much as a response even though the registration of the exams has begun.
As i lay to rest tonight i will most definitely pray for a better demeanor tomorrow and that much awaited response from IFOA. Funny thing is that i didn’t think complaining would be one of my blog’s strongest suits or should i say weakest.
Adversities have revealed a much uglier side of myself one resonating with the demonic and as an ultimate last resort i will start a series of blog poetry called ‘my dark objects’ and spew out all my bad blood on it at best it will provide some great poetry but at the very least it will offer me reprieve from having to carry around all this enveloping fear,hatred and bitterness.

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be sure to purge (thoughts,ideas,complaints) if at all you feel the nudge

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