the baby i never loved

I pride myself on the fact that i never met a baby i didn’t positively love but the truth is i did.Because i never met an adult i positively loved and all adults were babies once in the same being as they were once babies with the same potency of being an adult.The challenge was how could i claim to love a baby wholly even though they have an overshadowing potency of becoming an adult that i have a (P>10%) of never fully loving about them.The contradiction in my statement was real and for the paranoid neurotics like me scary.After all it meant i could never fully love anyone wholly not even a baby (my baby).And if this was the case for most humans i then realized love was not a theme that could ever exist in this world even amongst those who it is basically an obligation for ,that must mean when it comes to the strongest of virtues and acts: love ours (mine)is a world of appearances ,sheer impressions lacking the bulk of substance behind them .The irony for me is that in the nutshell of love there appears to be no nut just the shell,a summary with no story….the question remains then if it doesn’t exist where did the ideal come from or does it exist with me being the exception to those who will not feel it???

francois de larochefoucauld did say that love is like a ghost that many speak of but very few have claimed to see….the statement reduces the ideal to the materialness of our senses but may hold some truth after all because in the age of divorces,one night stands,corporate ladders extension and horrible parenting those who speak of an authentic love is further reducing and those who claim to have seen it nearly non-existant….the obvious conclusion be to partially agree that maybe just maybe love is folklore for folks that never existed,a beautiful figment of a brilliant writer’s imagination ,a beautiful lie about good monsters when in fact all monsters are just evil,a reality beyond the grasp of this relity…..but i might be wrong still the worst is i just might be right

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